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Some look exactly like a real penis, complete with human skin tones and veins, whereas others are more abstract. Dildos can be made from a range of materials, including silicone, rubber, and glass. They range in size from a few inches long to ones that over a foot. Clitoral suction vibrators are in these days, with Womanizer, Satisfyer, and Lelo producing some of the most popular options on the market. "Typically, [a clit sucker] uses some form of pulsating airflow tech," Fleming explains. While the sensation of using a clit-sucking vibrator can’t fully be mimicked with the body, it’s similar to if you were to suck (gently) on your partner’s clitoris.

And don’t limit yourself to only considering the toys marketed as couples toys. As Engle says, "Any toy can be used as a couples toy," so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from. The Eva is marketed as a couples vibrator, since it can securely stay in place during intercourse. Customers note that getting the hang of its use with a partner may take some trial and error, but rave about the power this one packs for its size, particularly at the highest of its three settings.

Generally you don’t need to disinfect toys that only one person uses or that stay covered with condoms. Some nonporous, nonmotorized toys can go into the dishwasher without soap for steam sanitizing. Alternatively, you can boil most nonporous, nonmotorized toys in hot water.

Many sex toys come with a fabric pouch, case, or box they can be stored in when not in use, but any sealable pouch or case is fine for a nonporous toy. We consulted Searah Deysach, owner of Chicago-based sex toy store Early to Bed, and Sophia Chase, proprietor of Chicago Dungeon Rentals (and a former Early to Bed staff member) for advice on best practices for cleaning sex toys. While nearly 50% of those polled (54% of the males vs. 45% of the females) said their sex toys cost under $20, 34% of the respondents (31% of the males and 37% of the females) spent between $20 and $50 on theirs.

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